Actually 28 is not a special number for me; however, I've gone through so many ups and downs at age of 27, which makes it remarkable to say something.
Every time a friend asked me : "why do you want to go abroad?" I said "for more opportunities; more income; better balance between work and life." All the reasons were true but somehow not determined enough.
Family relationship, love relationship, friendship made me realized that 'going out is the only solution for the best of all.'
The relationship mentioned were not devastating, it just taken my life away slowly and unconsciously. When I finally noticed it, it's too late to make any changes without hurting people. Probably because I was a vulnerable Pisces who liked to pretend strong and don't cared about anything. Eventually, I found out those complains, those negative emotions, those fights accumulated and made me feel stress to deal with.
So, I escaped.
I escaped to a place where no one knew me; where I could started over the relationship again.
I am so excited about the new beginning.
I've stayed in Portland. Oregon for 10 months in 2014 and pretty familiar with the life in the United States. However, it turned out I still felt lost when I came back in 2018. The major point might be I was taken care by angle Marrit so well at that time. Paper work, hosing, meal and all other annoying stuff were easy to follow as Marrit was there to help.
This time, moving and settling down cost most of my energy because I tried to rebuild my home and live a qualify life under a limited budget. Moreover, it's my first time to find an apartment and to live by myself (lived in dorm does't count). Finding a reasonable rental insurance, renting a moving truck, seeking for suitable second hand furniture and so on were extremely exhausting when you never done those things before. Meanwhile, I had to do lots of readings in order to catch up the academic level I supposed to have. For people whom left academic area for 3 years, it's quite painful to pick up papers and to absorb knowledge in a new field. The pressure which I had to leave a good first impression and made my superior believe I'm the right person for this position were with me everyday.
Fortunately, my little sweet home was all settled after 2 months!
Now, I have my own space to do whatever I want. The taste of freedom is addictive, no string attached behind. And the placid atmosphere somehow empties a corner of my heart and makes me love everything again.
I did feel lonely and wish to have an intimate partner close by. But that's all fine. Everything will be fine.
Turning 28, I hope to be more mature and responsible. When I prepare myself, I hope my beloved Mr. right can show up at the right time and the right place. I also hope to make achievements and real contributions in academics. Building a solid foundation in science, and step ahead into clinical after two years.
"
Home is now behind you the world is ahead.
– Gandalf
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